The Poke In the Eye Skit
by Rex Ungericht
SCENE: Suburban house. MIKE is seated at the kitchen table reading on his tablet. RENEE walks in carrying bags of groceries and sets them on the counter. She turns, and Mike sees that she has a black eye.
MIKE: Holy cow, that's some shiner you got there. What happened?
RENEE: There was a guy at the store selling a poke in the eye for two dollars.
MIKE: What? You paid someone to poke you in the eye?
RENEE: You make it sound so stupid.
MIKE: So stu-- you PAID SOMEONE TO POKE YOU IN THE EYE!?
RENEE: Yes, but I saved eight dollars.
MIKE: You saved-- how did you save eight dollars?
RENEE: Well, the pokes in the eye are normally ten dollars. But today they're 80% off.
MIKE: But it's a POKE IN THE EYE!
RENEE: But it's 80% OFF!
Mike starts to speak and stops several times while displaying a variey of expressions. Finally he says: Do you think he's still there?
RENEE: Until five.
MIKE: Can I borrow a couple of dollars?