Parodyman - Song Parodies by Rex Ungericht


Everybody Wants to Sell Me Stuff

Original Song: "Everybody Wants to Rule The World" by Tears For Fears

Parody Performed By: Skip Briggs

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Welcome to my life
In the U.S.A.
Every single day
I'm bombarded with commercial advertisements
Telling me I should be buyin'
Everybody wants to sell me stuff

It's all by design
It's the way it is
It's the bottom line
It's the neverending quest for lots of money
And it can get truly scummy
Everybody wants to sell me stuff

There's an ad on the bathroom stall door
Telling me that I need some poo pourri
I can use autopay to buy more

They're pitching bacon soda
And lamps that look like Yoda
Everybody wants to sell me stuff

[Spoken over musical interlude]

Voice 1: That's right, everone, it's the latest...
the greatest... the all new and improved
butt-shaped pillow! All the comfort of a
soft padded butt without the worry of
stinky gas blast!

Voice 2: I love my butt pillow!

Voice 3: It's so cheeky!

Voice 1: And if you order right now, you'll
get a SECOND butt pillow for free! This
special offer is for a limited time only,
so order today! Just 29.99 or five easy
payments of just 8 dollars each!

Quiet Fast Voice: Shipping and handling just
$38.65. Do not use butt pillow near an open
flame. May cause rashes, swelling, and
projectile vomiting.

Voice 1: Grab your credit card and call the
number on your screen!

Voice 2: There's nothing like putting your
face on a butt...pillow.

Voice 1: Order now!

[End sales pitch]

I can't stand the constant pressure
To make sure my breath is fresher
Everybody wants to sell me stuff

They know I'll never never never never need it
But they won't stop their pleadin'
Everybody wants to sell me stuff

There's a guy on television
With home kits for circumcision
Everybody wants to sell me stuff