Parodyman      Parodyman.com - Song Parodies by Rex Ungericht

 

The Day My Router Died

Original Song: "American Pie" by Don McLean

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A few short days ago
I was in my office
When I heard a crackle, pop and snap

And I knew it was something bad
'Cause network access on my pad
Just disappeared, I couldn't get it back

The situation made me shiver
I had some email to deliver
'Til this problem's mended
I've got no way to send it

I felt a little horrified
When I noticed that the hub was fried
I briefly thought of suicide
The day my router died

Oh why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
So I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Did you ever try to fix
Some components that turned into bricks
When a power spike occurs
And do you get nervous and withdrawn
With internet connection gone
Or do you shout a couple high tech slurs

Now I can't check on my website's hits
'Cause my broadband box is blown to bits
My life is incomplete
If I can't send out a tweet

And even though I have Intel inside
Well, it doesn't help me when the board is fried
That's why I facepalmed and I cried
The day my router died

I started yelpin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Now, for 3 years it was working fine
As data flowed through that CAT 5 line
But then there came the tragedy
When a lightning bolt made a mighty clap
And my surge protector said "oh crap"
As the jolt destroyed its M.O.V.

Oh and while the surge protector fried
My scanner flipped its lid and died
The damage was complete
Hope I kept the receipt

And as scorching left a blackened mark
The L.E.D.s all went to dark
And so I lost my link to Fark
The day my router died

I was moanin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Ooey phooey, what a load of hooey
This situation's really screwy
One strike and my computer's toast
Must replace the parts I lost
No matter what it's gonna cost
So now you know just why I'm getting sauced

And while I binged on Coke and Crown
The NAS just went and powered down
But right before it did
Sparks came out the lid

So, I stood there and I watched it glow
And realized it was apropos
To just unplug and stop this show
And maybe go and hide

I started yellin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

Well then I opened the PC case
The motherboard was still in place
But parts of it were kinda bent
Aw c'mon! This has really got me ticked
The hard drive has now begun to click
And there's a stong electric burning scent

And as I watched, the keyboard keys
Popped from their sockets in twos and threes
No demon born in hell
Could wreck my life so well

And with the power cord still glowing bright
I watched as every bit and byte
Dissapated at the speed of light
The day my router died

I was cryin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

I heard a whine from the CPU
And I wished that I could click Undo
And make it like it was before

I went down to the PC mart
Where I loaded up a shopping cart
And the purchase prob'ly crashed my credit score

But in the end it worked out great
My memory's triple data rate
And you should see the streaming
The data flow is screaming

But insurance said my claim was flawed
I don't get paid for acts of god
And so I bought a lightning rod
The day my router died

And I was groanin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
So I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy
Kissin' my old system goodbye

I was wailin'

Why, why did the power supply
Go kablooie, now my GUI says "no access, retry?"
I guess it's time to head to somewhere like Frys
While I try to figure out what to buy