Pull Your Pants Up

Original Song: "Hold Your Head Up" by Argent

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You're getting old
And you remember how you were taller
But nowadays
You have to struggle with getting smaller

Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull 'em up high
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull 'em up high

And you might need
To chug-a-lug a bottle of tipple
Just to accept
Your belt's positioned up at your nipples

Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull 'em up high
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull 'em up high

[SPOKEN OVER REPEATED LINES OF "PULL YOUR PANTS UP (HIGHER)"]

My pants are so tight against my crotch I sing soprano.

I have corduroy burns on my chest.

My socks are longer than my suspenders.

I have neck-high knickers, skyscraping slacks, pinnacle pants, towering trousers! Dig my denims, covet my khakis, swoon at my sweatpants, behold my britches!

I have an all-day trouser wedgie.

My front pockets are filled with my armpit hair.

My pants are pulled up so high I have to put aircraft warning lights on them.

[END SPOKEN]

And if they stare
Don't let it make you stop feeling chipper
Hike up your pants
And stare right back at them through your zipper

Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)
Pull your pants up (higher)