Parent

Original Song: "Dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors

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[LEAD SINGER]
When I was younger, just a dumb little kid
My mama noticed stupid things I did
Like frying plastic in a pan for fun
I'd stand in the yard and stare at the sun
I'd eat saltine crackers while lying in bed
That's when my mama said

[BACKGROUND SINGERS]
What did she say?

[LEAD SINGER]
She said, "My boy, go run and play
Because someday you'll find that it's now your moment to pay

You'll be a parent
You'll learn your children can cause you such grief
When you're a parent
You'll find that there's not a bit of relief
You're ignorant but you don't know it
You're constantly making a mess
When you're a parent
You'll know the distress

[BACKGROUND SINGERS]
Here he is folks, the parent of the year!
Watch him slam a beer!
Oh, my god!
He's a parent and he'll never get any rest
Who wants to care for little demons possessed?

[LEAD SINGER]
Stop that now!
Hey, drop that squid!
Holy cow. I'm grown up. I have kids!
Now I'm a parent

[BACKGROUND SINGERS]
Goodness gracious!

[LEAD SINGER]
And I am trying to not go insane
I am a parent

[BACKGROUND SINGERS]
They're vexatious!

[LEAD SINGER]
And I'm not sure that my kids have a brain
When I start enforcing some limits
Those kids start to screaming for New York minutes

[BACKGROUND SINGERS]
Parent!

[LEAD SINGER]
And while my children all cause me distress
Somewhere in heaven above me, I know that my mama's chuckling
Oh, mama!
'Cause I'm a parent- and feeling stress!

*crash*
Oh crap! What now?