Parodyman - Song Parodies by Rex Ungericht


Like a Spock

Original Song: "Like a Rock" by Bob Seger

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Stood there calmly
Gazing at the throng
Star Trek convention
Lines were very long
My ears were pointed
My attitude was calm
Like a Spock

Need to buy a pass
Offered my katra [1]
But they wanted cash
Vulcan Express card
Got me in at last
Like a Spock

A lone Mugato
Was hunting passers by
A group of Klingons
Just gave a battle cry
So fascinating
I raise an eyebrow high
Like a Spock

Like a Spock, always thinking logically
Like a Spock, living long and prospering
Like a Spock, spreading I.D.I.C. [2]
Like a Spock

And I stand arrow straight
As I swiftly calculate
The odds of meeting Michael Dorn
Then I head down the hall
Toward the dealer stall
That sells the rare beanie Gorn

Never knowing
Grief or joy
But I do
Get annoyed
From all of those damn arguments
With McCoy

But now it's late at night
And the characters reunite
Zoe Saldana comes in my sight
And I blank out
I blank out

Like a Spock, taken by pon farr [3]
Like a Spock, feeling k'oh-nar [4]
Like a Spock, time for kal'i'farr [5]
Like a Spock

Like a Spock, I'm rushing to the stage
Like a Spock, now it's time to mate
Like a Spock, they're dragging me away
Like a Spock
Uh, like a Spock?

[1]: the essence of the Vulcan mind
[2]: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations, the basis of Vulcan philosophy
[3]: the Vulcan time of mating, driving Vulcans to madness if they don't mate
[4]: emotional vunerability
[5]: marriage