BKSG at the Grammys

Parody Performed By: Rex Ungericht

Hi, this is Rex Ungericht, live at the grammys asking the stars what they think of the Black Knight and Squire G Show. There are performers both past and present heading up the red carpet…let me see if I can ask some of them a question.

The first artist arriving is Paul McCartney.
Q: Sir Paul, I understand you've been a fan of the BKSG show for years. What have you got to say about it?
A: "I've got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time."

And here's Petula Clark, who had several major hits in the U.S. in the sixties and is still an international star.
Q: Petula, why do you listen to the BKSG show?
A: "You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares."

Here's Carly Simon.
Q: Carly, the BKSG show has been on several different schedules during its run. Do you think it should be a live show every week?
A: "That's the way I've always heard it should be."

Walking up next is Phil Collins.
Q: Phil, I was told you don't listen to the Black Knight and Squire G Show.
A: "There must be some misunderstanding, there must be some kind of mistake."
Q: Well in that case, do you have anything to say to the Black Knight?
A: "Please answer the phone, 'cause I keep calling."

Here comes Sting.
Q: Sting, can I ask you a question?
A: "Don't stand so close to me."
Q: Um, ok, I'll move back. Do you have anything to say to the Black Knight and Squire G?
A: "De do do do, de da da da is all I want to say to you."
OK, thanks for that, you strange man.

Here's the Beach Boys. Maybe we can get a reasonable answer from them.
Q: Hey guys, what do you think of the BKSG team - The Black Knight and Squire G, Jay Capone, Don Candu, and Cherokee Leather?
A: "I wish they all could be California girls."
Well, yes, don't we all.

And coming up the aisle now is Leslie Gore, another big 60's star.
Q: Leslie, I heard your computer broke last Saturday and you cried when you couldn't listen to the BKSG show.
A: "You would cry too if it happened to you."
I suppose I would.

Here comes the Australian band Men at Work.
Q: Men, I heard you met the Black Knight and Squire G. What was the Black Knight like?
A: "He was six foot four and full of muscle."
Q: And what was it like meeting Squire G?
A: "He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich."
Ah yes, the enigmatic Squire. Thanks Men.

Now here's Jimmy Buffet.
Q: Jimmy, what can you tell me about the Black Knight and Squire G?
A: "They hang out in the local bar."

Q: Well in that case, Frankie Valli, what drink do you recommend for the Black Knight and Squire G?
A: "Sherry, baby."

Q: And Tommy James just walked up. What drink do you recommend?
A: "Sweet cherry wine."

Here are the bands Toad the Wet Sprocket and Semisonic.
Q: Toad, I hear you were in the bar with the Black Knight and Squire G. What were they saying?
A: "Bartender, fix me one more drink."
Q: Semisonic, I overheard you saying the Black Knight and Squire G panicked when the bartender said something. What was that?
A: "Closing time, one last call for alcohol."
Q: And Toad, before you guys move on, I hear you like to prank call the BKSG show. What exactly do you do?
A: "I call and never speak."

Weeeeelllll, look who's coming up the walk. It's Kevin Lee, who has appeared on the Black Knight and Squire G show before.
Q: Kevin, would you like to appear on the BKSG show again?
A: "I want it badly, way too much."
I understand. Thanks Kevin.

Oh! Alice! Over here! Ladies and gentlemen, Alice Cooper.
Q: Alice, do you know the Black Knight and Squire G?
A: "I used to be such a sweet sweet thing 'til they got ahold of me."
Yea, that does seem to happen a lot.

Q: Here comes the band Smash Mouth, and they're wearing BKSG t-shirts! Guys, what do you have to say to folks who are thinking about buying BKSG merchandise?
A: "So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out."

Q: Next up is Brewer and Shipley. Tell me, how would you describe Jay Capone?
A: "One toke over the line, sweet Jesus, one toke over the line."

Dire Straits is walking this way.
Q: Guys, what do you think of the Black Knight and Squire G show?
A: "That ain't workin', that's the way you do it, let me tell you them guys ain't dumb."

And here's Duncan Sheik.
Q: Duncan, if I gave you the choice between losing your life or losing the BKSG show, what would you say?
A: "I'm thinking it over."

OK, that about wraps it up. No, wait - there's one more star making his way up to the theatre - it's Paul Simon!
Q: Paul, how whould you describe the Black Knight and Squire G?
A: "Still crazy after all these years."

So there you have it - the stars' thoughts on Black Knight and Squire G. This is Rex Ungericht, reporting from the Grammys.

 

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If you are familiar with the works of Dickie Goodman, he produced several parodies where he assumed the role of a reporter asking questions, with the answers being samples from popular songs. In that tradition I present this work.

• "I've got to admit it's getting better, a little better all the time" is from "Getting Better" by John Lennon / Paul McCartney, performance by The Beatles.
  
• "You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares" is from "Downtown" by Tony Hatch, performance by Petula Clark.
  
• "That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" is from the song of the same name by Carly Simon & Jacob Brackman, performance by Carly Simon.
  
• "There must be some misunderstanding, there must be some kind of mistake" is from "Misunderstanding" by Phil Collins, performance by Genesis.
  
• "Please answer the phone, 'cause I keep calling" is from "Tonight Tonight Tonight" written and performed by Genesis.
  
• "Don't stand so close to me" is from the song of the same name written and performed by The Police.
  
• "De do do do, de da da da is all I want to say to you" is from "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" written and performed by The Police.
  
• "I wish they all could be California girls" is from "California Girls" by Mike Love / Brian Wilson, performance by The Beach Boys.
  
• "You would cry too if it happened to you" is from "It's My Party" by Gold/Gottlieb/Gluck Jr./Wiener, performance by Leslie Gore.
  
• "He was six foot four and full of muscle" and "He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich" is from "Down Under" by Colin Hay, performance by Men At Work.
  
• "They hang out in the local bar" is from "Fins" by Jimmy Buffett / Deborah McColl / B.Chance / Tom Corcoran, performance by Jimmy Buffet.
  
• "Sherry, baby" is from "Sherry" by Bob Gaudio, performance by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.
  
• "Sweet cherry wine" is from the song of the same name by Tommy James / Richard Grasso, performance by Tommy James and the Shondells.
  
• "Bartender, fix me one more drink" is from "P.S." by Dean Dinning / Randy Guss / Todd Nichols / Glen Phillips, performance by Toad The Wet Sprocket.
  
• "Closing time, one last call for alcohol" is from "Closing Time" by Dan Wilson, performance by Semisonic.
  
• "I call and never speak" is from "Something's Always Wrong" by Todd Nichols / Glen Phillips / Toad, performance by Toad The Wet Sprocket.
  
• "I want it badly, way too much" is from "Save Me Tonight" written and performed by Kevin Lee.
  
• "I used to be such a sweet sweet thing 'til they got ahold of me" is from "No More Mister Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper / Michael Bruce, performance by Alice Cooper.
  
• "So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out" is from "Walkin' On The Sun" by G. Camp, performance by Smash Mouth.
  
• "One toke over the line, Sweet Jesus, one toke over the line" is from "One Toke Over The Line" by M. Brewer / T. Shipley, performance by Brewer & Shipley.
  
• "That ain't workin', that's the way you do it, let me tell you them guys ain't dumb" is from "Money for Nothing" by Mark Knopfler / Sting, performance by Dire Straits.
  
• "I'm thinking it over" is from "Barely Breathing" written and performed by Duncan Sheik.
  
• "Still crazy after all these years" is from the song of the same name written and performed by Paul Simon.