Parodyman - Song Parodies by Rex Ungericht


The Legend of Frodo Baggins

Original Song: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot

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The legend lives on, from the time of Elrond
Of the hobbit they call Frodo Baggins
He walked out his door and faced goblins and more
But at least there were not any dragons

The start of the thing was a little gold ring
With a simple design just to fool 'em
But IF you knew how you could read Sauron's vow
"There can be only one -- ring to rule 'em"

Old Gandalf the Gray came to Frodo one day
And said "you must leave without DElay --
Please travel at night, keep the ring out of sight
And DON'T try to sell it on eBay"

When he HEARD Gandalf's plea Frodo headed to Bree
His hobbit companions beside him
At the end of their route he got really creeped out
When a strange-looking ranger just eyed him

The ranger then said, "I am not what you dread"
And he told them of mystical forces
"You hobbits are tracked by the riders in black --
They're ghosts, yet they need to ride horses"

Soon Frodo was jabbed, yeah he got kinda stabbed
Would Sauron now get his desire?
But son of a gun, you can make ringwraiths run
By setting their clothing on fire

When Frodo awoke he was with elven folk
A council was called of the races
Then Frodo took Sting and walked on with the ring
'Cause the others were all such head cases

But up in the skies there were Saruman's spies
Squawking "Frodo, we're all looking for ya"
So Gimli suggested a way less congested
"Let's go through the great mines of Moria"

But AS Gandalf feared, then a Balrog appeared
In flames that just KEPT getting higher
He told it to whoa even though wizards know
That you shouldn't be playing with fire

Then Boromir fell under the golden ring's spell
And Frodo saw what would befall 'em
So he said adieu but then Sam followed too
And sneaking behind there was Gollum

The rest of their quest wasn't much of a test
Oh wait, I forgot the huge spider
And millions of orcs with their knives and their forks
Who'd love snacking on hobbit sliders

But somehow they KEPT on without getting stepped on
And finally they reached the volcano
If Frodo could fling down the enemy's ring
Then everything would be muy bueno

He looked down below, saw the hot lava flow
It wasn't a place you should linger
The ring took him there, caught him deep in its snare
That's when he gave Gollum the finger

But then Gollum fell in that lava-filled hell
The ring died because Gollum robbed it
But people still say evil died out that day
All due to a strong force of hobbit