Parodyman - Song Parodies by Rex Ungericht


The Final Cutdown

Original Song: "The Final Countdown" by Europe

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Every year, NFL teams start training camp with more bodies than are allowed when the regular season begins,
and they must trim the roster in a series of cutdowns. Most people think this just applies to the players.

I practiced my butt off
To be in the pros
And now I have no butt
But that's how it goes

'Cause only the best of the best
Will make the grade (make the grade)
And get to be doused with gatorade

At the final cutdown
The final cutdown

I worked with the trainers
So I'd measure up
I did calisthenics
Until I threw up, yeah

But I'll push myself to the edge
To live out my dream (it's my dream)
To be the towel boy for the team

At the final cutdown
A towel boy showdown
We're snapping our towels
(*towel snap* Ow!)

(*snap* *snap* *snap*)
(I am towel boy supreme!)
(*snap* Ow!)
(Back! *snap* Back you runners up! *snap* *snap*)
(They call me the Red Snapper! *snap* *snap* *snap*)
(Because that's gonna leave a red mark!)
(*snap* *snap*)
(You think Thanos was something? Here comes MY snappening!
(*snapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnap* *SNAP!*)
The final cutdown, oooh oooh
Hope that I don't meltdown
Will I still be 'round
At the final cutdown (*SNAP!*)