Fanny (Is Tender From the Sun)

Original Song: "Fanny (Be Tender With My Love)" by The BeeGees

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On the beach, all day long
I lost a bet and I'm stuck out here in a thong
And I fell asleep facing down
I woke with my biscuits burning
And now they're red instead of brown

It's tender on my buns
And there's no turning the other cheek now
Fanny is tender from the sun
And a glance in my rear viewing mirror makes me shriek now

So I say to myself, boy
Just deal with the pain
And I think I'm gonna soak in tubs of Solarcaine
And when they tell me I'm smokin' crack
I tell them my crack is smokin'
My keister looks like bubble wrap

It's tender on my buns
I can't wear anything down below now
Fanny is tender from the sun
And I can't ride a bike and I walk really slow now

I'm afraid
My buns may be stuck together
Oh, I'm afraid
Out in the sunshine
The heat has sealed them forever

It's tender on my buns
You know I think I can hear them sizzle
Fanny is tender from the sun
And the blisters are popping and they start to drizzle

It's tender on my buns
And now my backfield won't go in motion
Fanny is tender from the sun
And nobody will help me and rub on some lotion

It's tender on my buns
You know my problems are all behind me
Fanny is tender from the sun
And the way that it glows makes it easy to find me

It's tender on my buns
I think my sunblock should be revoked now
Fanny is tender from the sun
Everyone uses me as the butt of their jokes now

Tender, tender buns