Crude

Original Song: "Smooth" by Rob Thomas & Santana

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You're feeling such strain
Like everything is going down the drain
Well, I feel your sadness and the pain gets in my brain
And that isn't cool

My darling partner
My friend since we were kindergartners
I can't let you be downcast
So I act the fool, yeah

And if you grin I'll try to keep it up
I will clown until your chin is up
I will belch a song to brighten up your mood
Because I'm so crude

And I'll pull down my trousers, show you the moon
I will drink a chocolate malted from my tennis shoe
I've got a way of joking that can be so crude, yeah
Gimme a laugh, make it real
Or else I'll keep on going

Well, if it ain't one thing
Then it's another in this friendship game
In every act and every word
I will proclaim you need some cheer

I'm from the lower class
My parents had a Big Mouth Billy Bass
My sense of humor's not refined or civilized
But it's sincere my dear

And if you grin I'll try to keep it up
I will clown until you brighten up
I will light my farts to lighten up your mood
Because I'm so crude

And I'll use my behind to inflate a balloon
I will braid my hair down there in dreadlocks just for you
It's just my sense of humor and it's really crude, yeah
Gimme a laugh, make it real
Or else I'll keep on going

And I will Facetime your grandma while I am nude
I will grab my crotch and sing you a soprano tune
It's just my way of joking and it's kind of crude, yeah
Give me a laugh, make it real
Or else I'll keep on going

O.k. I'll keep on going
I'm gonna keep it going
The raunchy jokes are flowing
(Gimme a laugh, make it real)
I'm gonna keep on going
You know I won't be slowing
I'm gonna keep on going
Oh no my bits are showing
I'm gonna keep on going