Santa Claus Is Beating You Up

Original Song: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie

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[START INTRO]

(Sound of jingle bells getting louder, then a thump)

Kid 1: Did you hear that? He's on the roof!

Kid 2: Shhh! Watch the fireplace!

(Sound of sliding, then landing. A few footsteps.)

Kids: Santa! Santa!

Santa: Well, hello children! Merry Christmas! But you should be in bed asleep.

Kid 1: Yea. Well, about that...

Kid 2: Last Christmas we didn't get everything we asked for.

Kid 1: So we stayed up to make sure we got our stuff.

Kid 2: Fork it over, fat man.

(Pause)

Kid 1: Santa? Why are you looking at us like that?

Kid 2: Why is your eye twitching?

Santa: HO, HO, HO!

(Pow! Bam!)

Kids: Waaaaaaah! Santa, stop!

Santa: You want presents? I got your presents right here!

(Pow! Whack!)

Kids: Waaaaaaaah!

[END INTRO]


I'm hearing you scream
I'm hearing you cry
Everything's changed, I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is beating you up

You wouldn't behave
So you're on his list
Gonna give you the gift of his fist
Santa Claus is beating you up

You thought that he was jolly
You thought that he was kind
But spoiled selfish bratty kids
Made him go out of his mind

You can't get away
You don't get a pass
He's got a great big bag of whoop ass
Santa Claus is beating you up

He used to be so happy
With children on his lap
But Christmas is a scary time
Now that Santa Claus has snapped

So you better watch out
You should be afraid
Don't go outside or you could be sleighed
Santa Claus is beating you up