TSA

Parody Performed By: Gary Hermann

Parody Performed By: Skip Briggs

Original Song: "Penny Lane" by The Beatles

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In the airport there's an agent taking photographs
A body scan that's from your head down to your toes
It takes an x-ray right through your clothes
Now your pelvis glows

Near the scanner are some agents wearing rubber gloves
They're so professional when giving you a pat
And they're fondling this and that 'cause it keeps us safe
So they say

TSA says anyone who's on a flight
Gives away their fourth amendment rights
So spread 'em and relax

A pretty girl who has a figure like an hourglass
Is chosen randomly to have her body scanned
She finds it odd on every trip she's been
She gets picked again

And they say they pixellate between the thighs
Then they say to my surprise
"We see you're circumcised"

Behind a glass wall in the middle of the terminal
A fellow gets a fanny pat from TSA
And though he hopes the agent isn't gay
He is anyway

TSA, you're frisking invalids and little ones
You never know which diaper might contain a bomb
And you tell us to just stay calm
Put our shoes back on
Move along

TSA just wants to give us all a hand
Checking in our pants for contraband
And other dangerous bits

TSA is telling me I've gotta strip
Just because I want to take a trip

What the hey