Merry Christmas

[Elf]
I saw the look in his eyes
As we were playin'
He wanted in the band
You know what I am sayin'
And now he's singin' out

[Santa, off key]
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas

[Elf]
Now Santa's driftin' out of key
He knows we won't can him
Although it's plain to see
That all the music critics pan him

He wants to be like Joe Cocker
Santa wants to make himself a rocker
He sings baby, you can leave your hat on
And we all think that's a shocker

[Santa, off key]
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas

[Elf]
Now Santa's never sung before
And he doesn't know the score
His voice is monotone like Al Gore
It makes us cringe

We want to send him a letter
Just to tell him he needs to sing better
We'll say Santa, Linda McCartney sang
More on key and more on meter

[Santa, off key]
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas (Elf: "Stop!")
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas (Elf: "Cut the mike!")
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas (Elf: "I'm outta here!")
Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas (Door slams)