Hey There Delilah

A very loose retelling of the Samson and Delilah story.

Hey there Delilah
Gee my hair sure smells terrific
It was blessed when I was born
And now it's shiny and prolific
Yes it's true
I need a powerful shampoo
To clean my 'do

Hey there Delilah
All the Israelites are jealous
'Cause my hair is long and silky
Not like other Hebrew fellas
I won't lie
I am one divinely coiffered guy
You can't deny

I've got hair down to my knees
It's as soft as it can be
There's no tangled locks for me
All my stylists agree
That it's heavenly

Hey there Delilah
I work as a bodyguard
Because I'm very burl-
y with the strength to juggle neutron stars
It's understood
I am the baddest in the 'hood
And that is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got muscles on display
And every time I flex I'll dazzle you
And take your breath away
In every brawl
Got a punch just like a cannon ball
And that's not all

When I was just twenty-three
Made the Philistines all flee
Schwartzenegger's scared of me
And I laugh at Mr. T

Yes my career's gone pretty far
But there is something quite bizarre
About the way that I got my super strength
My hair is there for more than show
And now it's time for you to know
That I grow stronger as it gains in length
I know my secret's safe with you
Because I know our love is true
I know you want to be be my trophy dame
And share my fame

Hey there Delilah
I just woke up all lightheaded
And you're standing there with barber shears
The things that I most dreaded have come true
I'm balder than that guy named Yul
Weaker than the plot of "Porky's II"
You sold me out so get a clue
'Cause babe we're through

Now look what you've done to me
Filled my enemies with glee
They're all coming after me
I think I had better flee
Where's the Lexus key