50 Ways To Love Your Liver

Original Song: "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon

Play the performance
by Gary Hermann
from
The BKSG Show
April 7, 2007

The problem is all inside your head, mom said to me
’Cause liver is tasty as a piece of meat can be
I know that if you try it once then you will see
There must be fifty ways to love your liver

She said you really need to eat more healthy food
Furthermore, I think your comment that it’s crap is just plain rude
So you keep sitting there
‘Til the time that you conclude
There must be fifty ways to love your liver

Fifty ways to love your liver

You just spread on the sauce, Ross
Put it on bread, Ned
And just shovel it in, Flynn
I’m sure you’ll agree
Gulp it or chew, Stu
But just get it into you
You’ll think that it’s great, Nate
That’s my guarantee

You just shake on the salt, Walt
Try it with rice, Brice
It’s much better than Spam, Sam
So stop the debate
Don’t say it’s bad, Brad
You’re just gonna make dad mad
You’re here ‘til it’s gone, Don
So clean off your plate

I said the look of it just makes me want to heave
I wish there was something I could say to get you to believe
That I don’t appreciate this
You’re trying to deceive
About the fifty ways

She said don’t be like that, just try a single bite
And I believe as you’re chewing you’ll conclude that I am right
I was trapped there, so I tried it and then smiled with delight
There must be fifty ways to love your liver

Fifty ways to love your liver

This stuff is da bomb, mom
Better than pie, Di
I guess I’m eating crow, Flo
‘Cause this is the best
This is a hit, Britt
So I’m gonna admit it
It’s more than ok, May
I’m really impressed

OK, now she’s gone, Dawn
This is the truth, Ruth
Gonna need me a pail, Gail
‘Cause I’m gonna spew
I’m turning blue, Sue
‘Cause this stuff tastes like doo doo
I’ll throw it away, Faye
And tell her I’m through